Life is never what it seems. Behind smiles, there is always something missing. Despite the craving for love, and the need to feel whole again; sometimes, what I once knew, the life I had, takes me back, holds me, and caresses me with sweet memories; but with all things, and all times, life has a way of snapping back with repercussions.

The ripples of what was, what is now, and what is to come, bleed together. Running slowly into one. Like reverberations in the water, little raindrops of an impending storm. The clouds gather, forming layers to deep too part on my own. The clouds suffocate any new memories, unable to grow strong without the goodness of the sun.

I cannot change the days, or the memories, or even when I will be able to stand on my own once again, but with each rainstorm, the grime of life, and the residue of pain, slowly fall to the ground, fading, if not mingling with the dust from which it came.

Life will not let me stay in the moment, it forces me back. I often think, and I am starting to believe that life doesn’t want everyone to find happiness at once. It decides that there must be some cord of distention in the universe to help offset that which is glorious, and precious. Where would we be, if all we ever knew in the small space of time was happiness. How could we ever appreciate what was to come?

I have been better lately, perhaps the storm is passing, and the skies will brighten. But even I know, just cause the rain stops, it doesn’t mean it won’t rain again, nor has the storm passed. Even when it has, there is still that unsettled pattern. I guess I will always be chasing the sun, hoping it will warm me, dry my tears, and bring me back to life. ♥