I am putting us inside a paragraph to freeze an emotion I have no other way to express. The feeling of your heartbeat on my back, breathing in a way where I knew you weren’t asleep. I had hoped your eyes stayed open for the same reasons as mine. How you said goodbye, but still you remain latent, like the pain that is within me. How I wanted you to know all of my cells wanted to stay, and I was a verb love in the gerund form: loving.

The day after you had gone, I started with a new paragraph and a new perspective, I was ‘hope’. I was waiting you went back, because I was only sorrow, I was noun: longing, a strong, persistent yearning, a desire burning inside me — so  deep in my soul I knew it could not be fulfilled, and  all my body got lethargic, no action, it needed you resuscitated all feelings contained in it.

You were a place where I found freedom and beneath your skin ran the source of my holiest desire, you fed me; you were my home, shelter, another noun, cozy and warm, so many adjectives. Now I know you found refuge in someone else’s heart. Fingers tips and safety, a bed that did not belong to us, I was solitude — just more noun, you did not notice. We had moments for two people somewhere far enough away. Away from the meant to be and hopeless romantic rhetoric: I am just the rhetoric of my thoughts — past tense memories. A space where I pretended not to remember meeting you, just pretended, so deeply to try to forget — again present tense.  A place I can tell you I absolutely did my own safety zone. Because it’s trouble falling into longing and we were bodies too determined to entertain each other, like a ballet of bodies and we were another verb: wrap — the dance in ecstasy.

With words I can tell you how I feel it, and in my small prose I poetize moments and how my heart and soul vibrate all the time when I close my eyes and see you — imagination — noun. I decided that is what infinity really is. Something more than mathematical answers, more than verbs, nouns, adjectives and symbol to encapsulate all the emotions that never ending. I eternalize you forever; your roots are embedded in me, your words speak through my mouth, I’m essentially the essence of you, dormant syllables.

This is a place we will exist forever — Infinity: I will keep you… ♥