There are parts of me that have died in these past years, some parts slowly, some timely … living out their lifespan, some brutally been put to sleep, throttled by my own murderous hands, I am trying to find sanity in my reality. Some outlive their due time and cling on for dear life… some I let go, some let go of me, but these I buried alive, and so they come back to haunt me.

While some parts die so many new buds have sprouted changing the aspects of my personality, I branch out in new different directions… growing, changing, budding, blossoming, blooming, withering, wilting and shedding. I can see the evolution taking place in me even as I look on, even as I blink, growing towards the light, many directions, many branches, sometimes gnarled and knotted yet always growing upward…towards the light. I close my eyes, sometimes to hide the agony and sometimes to sense the ecstasy..to feel its breath on my face.

I suppose it’s time… for me to move on, to metamorphose… if I need to fly. I do feel like I am at the pupa stage right now as I bury myself deeper and deeper into myself, seeking inwards, getting more and more intimate with myself, feeling the angst, the agony of weaving a silken thread to cocoon me, almost suffocate this “me” to gasp out that breath that is my essence. To rediscover who I am. Alone yet joint and hanging just by a fine thread to its branch. And that is enough, the link that connects, my umbilical cord and lifeline.

…and then there is the last but most vital element — ether — these people come from nowhere and return to nothing, they come like the mist..enveloping you, inside out as you breathe them in, saturating your every sense.Though untouchable they touch and cut you deep, their flavor lingers to your lips long after they are gone, they add a melody in your silence that rings in a sense of calm …and they return leaving you yearning and humming them, from nowhere back to nothing…disappear…leaving behind no trace, just a brief memory of a fullness that comes Only with their nothingness…leaving no residue, yet your existence is changed forever….♥