Life is not as plain as black and white and there are no blanket truths. Nobody plays the hand life gives them with a marked deck which means that sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. More plainly put, sometimes we simply fail…. and that leaves us to walk alone.

Alone and failing.

Letting go gracefully is something everyone wants to do but most of the time we grasp and flail and try to find some piece of what was there; Only to realize after much useless effort that it’s already gone.

Was it meant to be broken from the start? Was this failure, fate? Is there even such a thing?

Things pass…..and the best we can hope to do is let them “really” go away. That means getting rid of certain memories in order to make room for other ones to take their place. Even though nothing is ever really erased, maybe it can be compartmentalized and smoothed over.

That, being the reason behind the writing. To put memories in another place….smooth them over….let them out into the open to breathe; So that maybe, just maybe every breath won’t be a slow asphyxiation.

A journey. A road out of this. An ending of chapters and closing of books. A walk alone. This writing.

Whatever name I put on it, it means the same. It means that I do what I always do.

I put on a smile … I shine like the sun … I pretend that everythings okay … and I walk on.

Except now … I walk alone.

 Beatriz Esmer