I seldom do. I toiled so hard, and practiced so hard. And I cried even harder and berated myself even harder. I called myself stupid, idiot, dumb, dunderhead. There were times that I would escape to the ladies’ room and punch the door of the stall. I was that frustrated. Meanwhile, I did well in debates, and writing, and English class (English is not my first language). Everything came easy for me in those fields because I love reading. I excelled in the weaker fields, so they would say. And how I wished with my whole heart that everything was reversed instead.

I wanted to understand how to compute for those triangles, to understand the balance of those chemicals, to make sense of the speed-velocity mumbo jumbo. And somehow I did, with many sleepless nights and hard work. I took it one Tuesday, one Friday at a time. Still crying. Still writing heartbreak poems about Math and Science. But then, everything is equal, right? Writing an excellent poem is as hard as balancing a chemistry equation. It doesn’t mean that when you can rhyme, you’re a poet. I thought of these things.

College came and I realized I was too hard on myself, partly because there were many others having a harder time than I. But mostly because I have discovered that in what I am comfortable in, I excel. I did well. Really well, in my opinion (despite the many days of not attending classes). I loved how much I could understand the concepts, how I have embraced the methods. I love writing, and reading, and expressing myself in ways most people can understand. I mean, if a mathematician says he feels like the value of zero divided by infinity, would you get it? (now I’m exaggerating).

But I tell you now that you don’t have to be Einstein, or Newton, to be smart. You don’t have to have the college degree to prove that you have a noodle. Each of us has innate intelligences, in unique levels. Embrace the things you are good at and work hard on the things you’re not. All we need is to strike a perfect balance… I’m still trying it: balance …❤️