I am the first comma …

I am the first comma in that sentence, which does not wait for the period to conclude the paragraph. I am moved by reticence because I am remade by continuities. Never ending, because even sadness passes, without needing to be concluded, just (re)established. I no longer suffer from the syndrome of unfinished stories, I am frivolous about cases, because we live by chance. And if we don’t wait for new arrivals, we won’t allow ourselves, we won’t mean ourselves. My identity also has crises, because what I wanted yesterday, I don’t even know if it exists today, in this crazy world, displaced from everything we say we don’t believe, confess, but live. Understanding who I am is difficult even for me, let alone for you who supposedly think you know me. Screw the foundation of lucidity. What I want is a life transgressed with happiness.

In life’s vast narrative, I occupy a pivotal role as the first comma. My presence within the sentence does not depend on the concluding period; I assert myself regardless. This demonstrates my unwavering determination and active contribution to each paragraph’s coherence.

I derive motivation from reticence, as it fuels my transformation and growth through interconnectedness. Change is an inherent part of life, and I embrace its perpetual nature. Sadness passes like fleeting moments, effortlessly transitioning without demanding a definitive period, only necessitating its (re)establishment. Therefore, I no longer cling to the anguish of unfinished tales, as I understand their transient nature.

My perspective towards everyday conundrums has undergone a remarkable shift. I choose to adopt a carefree approach, recognizing that our lives are governed by chance. If we cease waiting for new opportunities or relationships to materialize, we liberate ourselves from self-imposed limitations and discover our true potential. Our existence gains significance only when we choose to embark on novel experiences.

On occasion, I must confront crises that threaten to dismantle my very identity. The desires that consumed me yesterday may no longer hold relevance today. In this ever-evolving world, detached from professed beliefs, we find ourselves displaced and seeking solace. Unraveling the intricate layers of my being is an arduous task, one that often eludes even my understanding. It is presumptuous to assume that others possess a comprehensive knowledge of who I truly am. Thus, it becomes imperative to disregard the illusion of apparent lucidity.

Instead, what I yearn for is a life brimming with transgressions and happiness. Immerse me in experiences that defy societal norms and conventions. Let our existence be a joyous rebellion against all that seeks to confine us. Experiences that bring happiness are what truly propel us forward on this beautiful journey called life.

In summary, I proudly assume the role of the first comma in the sentence of life. I refuse to wait for external factors to conclude my narrative. The essence of who I am is reshaped continuously through the interconnectedness of existence. I discard the weight of unfinished stories and approach life’s complexities frivolously, recognizing that chance holds infinite possibilities. Understanding my own identity in this turbulent world remains a challenge, even for me, placing greater uncertainty on those who claim to comprehend me fully. Liberated from the confines of lucidity’s foundations, I seek a life enriched by happiness, embracing transgressions with open arms.

Copyright © Beatriz Esmer

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