Once upon a time, I was a prisoner of my own creation, bound by the chains of rules and regulations. I used to have rules about poetry, a world where words danced to the rhythm of my heartbeat. I counted in line, time, meter, and form, each syllable a steppingstone, each line a journey, each poem a universe unto itself. I was a puppeteer of language, fingering syllables and forking tongues, weaving tapestries of emotion and thought with the threads of words.

I used to have rules about love, a labyrinth of do’s and don’ts that dictated the rhythm of my heart. Don’t touch, touch too much, touch only once – a dance of desire and restraint. Don’t speak its name, say it every day, say it before you sleep, say it when you wake, say it with every kiss – a symphony of silence and sound. Never miss the chance to say it, use it in poetry, never use it in poetry – a paradox of expression and suppression.

But as the seasons changed, so did I. The cocoon of rules that once held me captive began to feel like a cage. I yearned for freedom, for the ability to fly without the weight restrictions holding me down. And so, I decided, a choice that would change everything. I decided to break free, to let go of the rules that had once defined me.

Now, I dance to the rhythm of my own drum, my words flowing freely like a river, unbound by the constraints of form and meter. I love without fear, without restraint, each touch a testament to the depth of my feelings, each word a declaration of my love. I no longer hide behind the veil of rules, instead, I embrace the chaos, the unpredictability, the beautiful mess that is life.

I used to have rules, but I’ve decided instead, I don’t do that anymore. For in the end, life is not about following rules, but about creating your own. It’s about finding your own rhythm, your own melody, your own path. And so, I continue to write, to love, to live, free from the chains of rules, free to be me.

Copyright © Beatriz Esmer

Watercolor Painting – Samba Collection