And there are so many worlds that we all respectively belong to. There are so many planets that we hold inside of us that no other human will ever be able to visit, and I think that that’s such a lonely feeling. Will there ever be one human being, just one, who can soothe the ache of wanting to discuss every molecule of your life with another person?

I long to touch someone’s knee and instantly understand the fear that consumed them in their childhood, the happiness of their freedom, the way they fell headfirst into love for the first time. These worlds within us, these stories we’ve lived and dreamed of living, form a collective dream that we yearn to share.

What I desire most is a connection that transcends words, a bond that delves deeper into the space between two humans that language can’t touch. There will always be different people for different worlds. Someone who understands all that you harbor exists, but it’s as if—no matter how hard you try—you can never fully explain to a blind man what color his eyes are, or describe the sound of the ocean to someone who’s never heard it beneath the moonlight.

I suppose I’m just yearning. Some people are so in tune with the subtle nuances of my being. I can tell when they are hurting just by the way they hold their hands on their lap. Yet, even in such deep connections, there’s always something missing. Perhaps I am searching for something entirely selfish, the most human relationship possible.

These days, I write as if testing out a language for the first time, feeling the words come out wrong, but striving to capture the essence of my emotions. To hell with the uncertainty. I will continue to seek and express the depth of my inner worlds, hoping one day to find that kindred spirit who can share in their vast, uncharted beauty. 🙏🏾❤️🇧🇷🌻

©️ Beatriz Esmer