There is a poetry in the chaos, a rhythm in the uncertainty. Life, in its infinite complexity, unfolds in unexpected ways. Sometimes, it takes things falling apart to bring them back together again. It’s in those moments of fragmentation that we discover our true strength, our ability to rebuild and renew. 

Falling apart isn’t always a tragedy; it’s a metamorphosis, a necessary disruption to create space for growth. My heart, with its erratic beats, echoes the unpredictable nature of existence. I get shy, overwhelmed by the intensity of feeling, and yet there are times when numbness takes over, a stark contrast to the flood of emotions.

Fear and love, doubt and resistance, they all play their parts in this grand theater of life. Thinking about my mom breaks my heart, reminding me of the deep connections that anchor me. I long for silence, yet my mind is a cacophony of thoughts, a battle between desire and restraint. 

In the quiet moments, I hope for someone who understands the beauty of stillness, who can share in the silence without the need for words. Joy and wonder dance together, while fear and hate wage their battles. Doubt crashes into me, but my mind fights back, resilient and unyielding.

Love, in all its forms, is an act of defiance, a rebellion against despair. Stories are the lifeblood of our existence, the threads that weave us together. The way your hands look, the way my mouth moves when I talk, these small details are the fabric of our shared reality.

I grapple with the extremes of feeling, liking people too much or not at all, searching for a balance that often seems elusive. In the midst of it all, there is a sense of getting lost, of teetering on the edge of sanity. But within that chaos lies a deeper understanding, a recognition of the beautiful complexity that defines us.

©️Beatriz Esmer