When men talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriends or ex-wives, what they often mean is that these women cried a lot, texted too often, had an eating disorder, wanted too much or too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. This does not make these women crazy. It makes them human beings, with flaws and emotional vulnerabilities. However, deciding that any behavior that they do not like must be insane—well, that does make a man a jerk.

When men do this regularly, remember, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally understand you when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”

When men say, “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool,” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother of my children.” The subtext is, “do not step out of line.” If you get close enough to men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general. 😉

©️Beatriz Esmer