You, with your hero’s complex, envisioning yourself as Superman or perhaps a more bruised and boozy Iron Man, imagine I need saving. How absurd that notion is! Do you realize how ridiculous it sounds? I could recount the countless crises I’ve weathered, emerging each time unscathed, but such a tale would bore you, for it stretches too long. Never once did I seek your help. Yet, you keep searching my eyes for a flicker of helplessness—something you crave to witness before offering your love. True, we all have our moments of weakness, but as adults, we are never truly helpless. We find ways to pull ourselves up, even if it sometimes requires a jumpstart from another. How’s that for a mixed metaphor? Perhaps my metaphors could use a bit of sorting, but aside from that, refrain from trying to save me.

I see what’s unfolding here. It’s so much easier to spot flaws in others and suggest remedies than to confront our own issues. You also have a need to feel dominant. I understand. I’m not trying to dominate your personality or your life. You are part of my world, and I am part of yours, but you are not my world entire. I must rely on myself alone. It’s a truth few wish to acknowledge. I may trust you, but in the end, I have me. I will not anchor all my hopes and dreams in you. I will share them with you freely, but you will not be my savior. If I’m hanging off a cliff and you extend your hand to pull me up, I will grasp it and thank you. Naturally, I will. If you open the door for me, I will walk through it and thank you. I welcome help and kindness without hesitation. My problem lies not in accepting help, but in the notion that you need to save me. This is your issue, not mine. It is a part of your nature that I deeply dislike.

You might find a woman who yearns for a hero, who constantly places herself in perceived helplessness for you to rescue. Maybe that’s the kind of woman you need. It seems a dismal existence to me, but if that’s your desire, seek her out. Life brims with too much to do for me to squander time on contrived difficulties. I solve problems and strive not to create them. I try to remain aware of my surroundings and the impact of my actions on the world. I’m an adult. What you need is a little girl trapped in a woman’s form. Many such women exist. Good luck to you! ❤️

©️ Beatriz Esmer