It is a hunger, perhaps, an unstoppable, vertical will to unfasten the world. I find myself wanting to open every door, not to enter, but to let the outside in. I would turn on all the lights until the shadows have nowhere left to hide, and then, with a finality that feels like birth, I would retire the keys. Why lock what has finally become infinite?

I wish to dedicate each fragment of time to the creation of waves—great, rhythmic swells of perplexity. Not to confuse, but to drown the certainties that keep us heavy. To alleviate the weight of men, women, and children by giving them back their own mystery. I want to see that brilliance return to their eyes, the spark of someone who has glimpsed the unbearable beauty of being alive.

One day, I will finally master the secret of the Great Silence. Not the silence of absence, but the one that arrives like a sudden blow when everything is understood. I will learn the violent grace required to stop all noises, to peel away the layers of “doing” until I arrive at the center. There, I will find the emptiness full of beatitude, that white, vibrating space where the “I” ceases to want, and simply is.

©️ Beatriz Esmer